Advice King This Week

How Can I Figure Out What to Do with My Life?


Dear Advice King,
I'm almost done with college, and I still have no idea what to do with my life. It seems like all of my peers already have everything figured out; I feel as though I've "missed the boat" in some way. The problem is, everything interests me, so it's hard to imagine myself doing only one thing. How can I choose an area in which to start a career? At what age do I become a loser if I haven't decided yet?

- Lifelong Learner

Dear Learner,

Allow me to preface this by saying that you are never too old to learn something new, take a different direction or start a fresh career. The idea that you must go to college immediately after high school, finish in four years or less and suddenly have your life totally mapped out is kind of a crock to me.

If you’re one of the lucky few who can pull it off then I give you “mad props,” as I think the kids say these days. For the rest of us, it’s just not that simple.

It sounds as though some people view your uncertainty is as a weakness, and you’ve allowed others’ opinions about what you should do with your life shame you into doubting yourself.

News flash: The judgments of others are short-sighted because no one will ever have more information about your strengths, passions, plans and dreams than you do.

It’s natural to care what your family and friends think, but remember that the ultimate voice that matters is your own.

Rather than comparing your educational and career paths with those of your peers and worrying that you are behind, rejoice in your love of seeking knowledge, as it sets you apart from the majority — which consists largely of complacent people who are settling for lowest-common-denominator existences.

Plus, you should be proud; it takes a lot of courage to be true to yourself when it would be much easier to fulfill the status quo.

Accepting that a clear direction hasn’t yet shown itself and disengaging from any rhetoric suggesting that something is wrong with you is essential to setting yourself free from the chains of other people’s expectations.

Having said all of that, it’s important to balance your ambitions with a sense of reality. Obviously, you need money to eat, pay rent and do anything else that your life might necessitate. So, get a job that pays the bills and realize that it’s just a stepping stone to bigger and better things.

Becoming a loser shouldn’t be a worry of yours. A loser has no direction, and more importantly, no desire to find one.

That clearly doesn’t describe you. Whatever age you are when it happens, when you find what you are most passionate about, you’ll know. It will feel as natural as breathing.



Send Jess your questions on Twitter @advicefromjess or by e-mail to advicefromjess@ocolly.com

URGENTLY HILARIOUS UPDATE

If you haven't read "Is That Really a Thing?!" from last week, I urge you to do so.

My little article about Mantyhose (yes, panythose for men) was apparently so controversial that it garnered responses from several people, including a couple of guys who actually wear Mantyhose, a woman who didn't like my "characterization of women," and Steve Newman, the marketing director of ActivSkin (who, apparently, sells Mantyhose).

I'm not sure if part of Mr. Newman's job description is to sit at his desk and Google to see who's talking about the latest trends in gentlemen's hosiery... sorry, one moment... I still can't keep a straight face when I put those words together... ahem! My point is, how did he find little ol' me?!

It's always great to hear feedback from readers, especially if it's from a vastly different perspective than my own. However, on this particular topic, I found Mr. Newman's post kind of funny at first... I was wondering if THAT was really a thing!

After talking with Steve, pictured right, he actually doesn't seem crazy. And truthfully, he is so passionate about his product (really, he is - I am not making that up) that you sort of can't help but be endeared to him. Thus, I'm going to be "doin' me some research," and I will write a follow-up piece to explain what I've learned. 

So, be sure to tune in for a Mantyhose update!

Is That Really a Thing?!

Get Your Own, Rover!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it - I'm a day late posting this week's ITRAT. I've recently taken on three extra writing projects, so it's been very hectic around here. One of those projects is a blog, called "Unsolicited Advice," for the Oklahoma State Daily O'Collegian. It's a spinoff of my Advice King bi-weekly column and will have some of the matierial from this blog syndicated, but there will be a lot of different content, as well. If you're interested, you can check it out at http://advicefromjess.wordpress.com/.

Okay. So. This business of this week's ITRAT. I have to admit, although I think the topic I'm discussing today is abysmally ridiculous, it did also kind of make me go, "Awwww, isn't that cute!"

Anyway, here it is.





Finally, the brilliant minds who brought us the Snuggie have outdone themselves by extending the line of wearable blankets to dogs. Now you can buy your dog one of his very own - now maybe he'll quit stealing yours!

Thank goodness we have marketers out there who are thinking beyond the obvious and providing solutions to our most critical issues! For example:

If you're cold...

Obvious solution: ...get a blanket.

Beyond the obvious solution: ...wear your blanket like a bathrobe turned backward! Never again shall you have the arduous task of holding your blanket while you lie around doing absolutely nothing; behold, the Snuggie!

If your pet is cold...

Obvious solution: ...buy him a little pet sweater. It's not like dogs have some protective layer of fur or something to help them achieve homeostasis in hot or cold environments... Wait. Crap. Yes they do.

Beyond the obvious solution: ...buy him a Snuggie! If you're the type of owner who loves your pet like family, and to whom doggie sweaters simply weren't pointless enough, then this Snuggie is for you!

Sidebar: Am I the only person who clearly sees that the Snuggie for pets works exactly like a pet sweater?! The mechanics are identical! I'm just sayin'.

Yes, it appears that the cumbersome process of covering ourselves with a blanket has finally been streamlined! Think of all of the ways you will save yourself time and precious energy, which can then be channeled into such activities as raising your toothbrush to your automatic toothpaste dispenser!

I'm obviously joking with my faux-endorsement of this product; however, the video ad above is serious, despite its appearance otherwise. I seriously thought this was a skit on Saturday Night Live the first time I saw this.

Wow, with all of the advances in pet technology (the Snuggie, the Poo Trap), pretty soon we won't need to walk, feed, bathe, play with, or even acknowledge our dogs - there will be new inventions, each more clever than the last, that will take the work out of owning pets.

You know, or, you could just, I dunno, not have a pet?