True Blood Finale a True Dud

Like pretty much every person I know, I waited with night-before-Christmas excitement - for what seemed like an eternity - to watch the True Blood finale on HBO.

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed for a few reasons. Most of all, the cheesy dialogue was so awkward that it actually made me a little uncomfortable and embarrassed for the characters. I guess a certain amount of "cheese" has to be written in when you're doing a storyline about imaginary creatures who sacrifice shape-shifters in preparation for the arrival of a deity with the head of a bull; but I truly felt like they could have done better (it's HB flippin' O, for crying out loud).

And, ah yes. That storyline. I've wondered for a long time how they were going to make this ending work... all season long, we've been convinced that Maryann couldn't be killed. Nobody could figure out how to get rid of her, or how Sam was going to escape death (although I think most of us kind of knew he would somehow pull through). We thought it was all over for Sam when Eggs (really? Eggs? That's your name?) stabbed him in the heart - but, shortly thereafter, Sam shape-shifted into a white bull, outsmarting Maryann into believing that he was the god she kept calling "my husband." That whole husband/wedding/Sookie being the bridesmaid thing creeped me out too, but that's another blog entirely. Sam was able to kill Maryann by jousting his horn right through her... a fulfilling and victorious kill by all means, but come on.

"You mean, all we had to do this entire time was cut out her heart?"

Lame.

And, can we just talk about Bill for a minute? Please tell me I am not the only one who has noticed the evolution of this character. When True Blood began, Bill was the mysterious bad boy who drew Sookie in with his Southern Charm and cool demeanor. He almost seemed like the James Dean of vampires, which is what made me keep watching True Blood, despite the fact that it's about vampires and I'm usually not into that kind of thing. But something strange has happened to Bill... he's become so cliche, like something out of a demonic B-movie. His contrived intensity and the unnatural feel his Southern accent has taken has really turned him more into the Rev. Jesse Jackson of vampires. No, worse... he's the Darrell Hammond parody of Jesse Jackson. Does anyone else see this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here!

I am interested to see what comes of the new storylines that were introduced: Sam searching for his biological parents, Jason shooting Eggs in the head and then running off into the night, that alcoholic cop who sounds like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade covering for Jason, and who could overlook the obvious cliffhanger, did Eric kill Bill? Unfortunately, I think the direction of this show next season will be one that involves more episodes with Evan Rachel Wood as the vampire queen. Loved her in Thirteen - but come on, Evan Rachel! Could you BE anymore junior-high-drama-production-of-Hamlet?

So, to summarize, I spent most of the show laughing with Wes and trash-talking. It was so lame that I wonder if they should even bother next season.

But, I have to confess... I'm still going to watch it - every episode.

It's Not Brain Surgery... Or Is It?

Did you know that every year in the United States, 1.4 million people sustain a traumatic brain injury (TBI)? Of those people, 50,000 die, 235,000 are hospitalized, and 1.1 million are treated and released from an emergency department. That's not even counting the folks who never seek treatment for TBI, usually because they don't realize they've had a serious injury (even Natasha Richardson thought she just had a headache, and there are countless cases like hers).

It should be noted that technically, traumatic brain injury is "a blow or jolt to the head or a penetrating head injury that disrupts the function of the brain" (this definition and previously mentioned statistics are all taken from the CDC website). However, many people in the community use the term loosely to also include stroke, anneurysm, and arteriovenous malformation (AVM) victims and survivors, although this portion of the brain-injured community is not included in the CDC's statistics on TBI. I will be using TBI as I've just described, loosely, because all survivors will be faced with similar obstacles - no matter how they arrived at that point.

Yes, it seems that the brain-injured community is much larger than most of us think. For me, it was a completely shocking revelation to see TBI's effect on my husband and all of the patients with whom he had rehab; my complete lack of awareness of this population and their challenges were embarrassing. For those of you who don't know, Wesley (my husband), was diagnosed with an AVM in June of 2008 and underwent two brain surgeries, which, initially, left him completely disabled.

Imagine feeling great today and waking up tomorrow unable to speak, walk, brush your teeth, feed yourself, or even use the bathroom. What would it be like to not even have a concept of what an alphabet or letters are, let alone recite them? Now, imagine that as the weeks go by, you begin to recover memories of your past. Eventually you realize that you were once a fully functioning adult with a rewarding life and loving family, and now you can't do any of the things you used to. You're completely dependent... and you know it. Can you see yourself here? This is what my husband, and millions of other survivors of TBI, experienced.

The heartbreak of watching people endure a terrible ordeal such as this literally causes me pain. I remember that when I used to pick Wes up from outpatient rehab in the afternoons, sometimes I'd have to go inside to sign a form, talk to a case manager, and the like; nine times out of ten, I left nearly in tears as I imagined what these other patients' stories might be. I constantly heard stories of the struggles patients had, both during rehab and after; one of the most recurring stories involved various patients being treated horribly by people outside their close-knit communities - the general public - because they were perceived as "slow" or "stupid" (their words, not mine). Why do we presume that a person has a "normal life" if their injuries or challenges are not immediately visible? I think that one way you can tell if you are treating people the way you should be is to imagine if you found out tomorrow that they'd had a stroke or other brain injury that left them unable to do or understand certain things. Would you feel guilty about something you said to or thought about them?

This discovery and acute awareness of the brain-injured community made me want to do something. Anything. I wanted to help; I just wasn't sure how to do it (after all, I was nine weeks pregnant when Wes went into the hospital, and suddenly thereafter I became our family's sole provider). Luckily, an opportunity has presented itself to Wes and me. The Oklahoma Chapter of the Brain Injury Association is relocating from Oklahoma City to Tulsa, and both of us were nominated to serve on the board. I'm so happy and proud to say, this morning I was notified that our nominations were accepted.

I feel like this is my chance to contribute; to help others the way Wesley and I were helped along the way by incredibly compassionate, wonderful, complete strangers. My goals for serving in this position are to raise awareness of this population of people and help the general public understand some of the challenges and hardships they face on a daily or even hourly basis. I'm so very excited to have this opportunity; it is one I won't take lightly. Needless to say, Wesley is thrilled, as well. He has a special ability to really connect with TBI patients and their families, helping them to cope with what has happened to them.

As Wes would say, "Be good to your brain."

Should I Move to Be with Him?

Advice King in the OSU O'Colly (reprinted from O'Colly website)

Dear Advice King,
I’ve been dating a guy for three months now. He lives in Washington, D.C.; we met in January through mutual friends while he was in Tulsa (my hometown). At first, we talked on the phone all the time – just as friends – until I went to visit him. Ever since, we’ve been officially a couple and have been traveling back and forth every few weeks to see each other. I honestly believe that this guy is “the one,” and I want for us to be together. When is it too soon to move to another state to start a future with someone? How can we keep the connection when we are so far apart?

- Long-distance Lamenter

Dear Lamenter,

I once faced an eerily similar situation – but with different cities and the complexity of a commitment to the military (his, not mine). I was just as sure as you are about this guy, and, after knowing him for two months, I married him and moved away from everyone and everything I knew to be with him.

Not only did I resent him for my homesickness and lack of social connections, but a year and a half later, I finally discovered all of the cheating, lying and self-destructive behavior that had been going on behind my naïve, unquestioning little back since the moment we met, and I filed for divorce the very next business day.

I don’t presume to know that your guy is or is not a creep – or, “hiding his crazy,” as I like to call it – but you shouldn’t, either. Three months is hardly long enough to really know someone when you live down the street, let alone halfway across the country. You can be anyone you want when the main ties that bind are telephone lines.

If you really feel in your heart like this is something you should pursue, then you owe it to yourself to give it your best shot; but you must do it carefully, cautiously and wisely.

Give it a few more months in your current arrangement to allow time for some of both your inevitable dirty laundry to air itself. If you don’t run screaming for the hills, it might be time to examine what opportunities Washington, D.C., holds for you — other than just being this guy’s main squeeze.

It shouldn’t be about whether he would move for you; rather, it should be an issue of whether you would still move there if he didn’t exist.

Most, although not all, relationships cannot handle the pressure of one person being “the reason” for another’s relocation.

As for keeping the connection, my advice is to be open and painfully realistic about what you each expect from the relationship as far as exclusivity and what is regarded as inappropriate conduct. And remember, although he may be perfect for you, nobody is perfect!
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Send your questions to the Advice King on Twitter @advicefromjess or via email: jess.king@okstate.edu