Is That Really a Thing?!

If Thinking Men Should Definitely Wear Pantyhose Is Cool, Consider Me Miles Davis


This week's "Is That Really a Thing?!" doesn't really need a witty introduction. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

Mantyhose.

Yes, that's right.
Mantyhose.

Pantyhose for men, which have been popularized in Europe for some time now, have officially traveled across the pond. Looking at the picture to the left, we can tell that this is not just a really muscular woman. As the psychiatrist said to the naked, male patient, "I can clearly see you're (your) nuts."

I have never actually seen a man wearing these - ahem - mantyhose (it'll be awhile before I'm fully comfortable saying that word), although, that could be largely in part because I live in Oklahoma: Land of the "What in Tarnation?!"

When I was doing my research for this week's ITRAT, I stumbled across this little jewel on a website called "Best of Stupid," which is a blog about, well, stupid stuff. I thought it was a joke. This looks like something you would see on Saturday Night Live; it's right up there with Oops, I Crapped My Pants! and Colon Blow Cereal. I had to find out if this is really a thing.

Enter my new favorite website, E-Mancipate. This site sets out to raise awareness and acceptance of pantyhose as a men's fasion item. The picture to the right is only one of many that made me laugh, out loud, while writing this. I'm not judging these guys, I've just never seen anything like it before. The enjoyment I have gotten out of this topic is rivaled only by the first time I ever saw a drag queen show. (By the way, if you've never seen a drag queen show, you should do so; those ladies straight up know how to entertain!)

What I find incredibly ironic about this whole "e-mancipation" theme is that emancipation is a word that is characterized by the process of becoming free of something. For example, teens who are emancipated from their parents become their own entity, no longer under their parents' control.

So, when you mantyhose-wearing men were trying to figure out how to set yourselves free from the unjust and extreme oppression that has held you back for far too long, didn't you do any research? Don't you know that pantyhose are garments from which women have long been trying to emancipate themselves?

Newsflash: Wearing pantyhose does not emancipate anyone from anything, by any stretch of the imagination. They are tight, binding, uncomfortable, and they don't allow the uh, "situation" down there any breathing room. Why would any guy want to subject his poor, defenseless package to such extreme conditions? And in the name of fashion? Really? Really?!

I think I can speak on behalf of most women when I say this: Guys, if you want 'em, you can have 'em. We will totally trade you. In fact, why don't you just take over shaving your legs and waxing your you-know-whattie as well? If it means that I never have to wear pantyhose again, you can consider me a "Mantyhose Ambassador."