Girl Gone Mild

Last night, I had dinner with a new friend whom I just met this week. We'll call her Amber. She's 18 years old, a freshman in college, and is in a sorority. She's also gorgeous, friendly, and has a cheerful voice; definitely not the kind of girl who would have been friends with me (a dorky band-nerd who was - let's face it - kind of aggressive) in high school.

It would be all too easy to make the honest mistake of prematurely writing Amber off as a naive, superficial, dim-witted former cheerleader with nothing but boys, parties, and fashion filling her spoiled little head. But that's exactly what you would be doing - making a huge mistake.

As Amber and I sat and talked over salads and pizza that later made me regret having a stomach, I stood pleasantly corrected about the unfortunate stereotype with which I had previously, ignorantly associated her. It wasn't that I assumed she was an idiot or anything, I was just... prepared for her to be. (Sidebar: Let's be honest. Aren't most 18-year-olds know-it-all morons? I definitely was.) But Amber is no idiot. Articulate, intelligent, and with uncharacteristically-low-for-a-teenager use of the word "like," she told me about her family, her friends, her sorority, and her plans for the future - all with the calm self-assuredness of someone who has her act together.

I found myself excessively impressed with this girl and her well-adjusted, down-to-earth theories about sororities ("It's doesn't make me who I am, I am my own person and I don't have to share their opinions"), parties ("I'm not a big drinker; I don't like to lose control of myself and act like an idiot"), and sense of self ("I don't like to conform to what the group does; I know what's right and wrong and I don't just go along with things"). Yes, Amber is pretty in the way people with perfectly symmetrical faces tend to be, but without those pesky senses of entitlement and superiority that usually accompany great beauty. And yes, she's very friendly, but every word is genuine and sincere. She carries herself with self-respect and humility, and denounces most of the risky and self-destructive behaviors that this generation seems to find acceptable (i.e., drinking too much and dancing naked on a table, dumbing oneself down to attract men, and taking one's clothes off for Girls Gone Wild cameras - all of which are somehow justified as "the New Feminism" or "just knowing how to have fun," but are really huge, unappreciative steps backward for womankind).

I know many very respectable, accomplished, brilliant women, who make me proud of my gender and embody the reasons why women have made such great strides in the last 100 or so years. It's not that these women are hard to find, they are just hard to find at 18 years old - an age characterized by confusion, the need to belong, conformity, and constant search for one's identity, values, and true self. Basically, Amber is exactly how I wish I had been at her age. This girl has a clue.

The experience of getting to know this new friend can really be summed up in one word: Refreshing.