Dear Advice King,
I hate public speaking. I’m not good at it and simply don’t enjoy it. I have to give a speech for one of my classes, and I’m freaking out. How can I stop my armpits from sweating and my voice from cracking so I can give the best presentation possible?— Sweaty speech-giver
Dear Sweaty,
Step number one: Breathe with me. In, two, three… out, two, three. Repeat a few times, using slow, expansive, deep breaths. No, we aren’t meditating; we are trying to trick the hypothalamus into calming the nervous system’s “fight or flight” response to stress.
What you call “freaking out” is actually a physiological reaction to any stimulation — internal or external — that we perceive as threatening.
The best way to combat this phenomenon is by changing your circumstances, which usually involves exiting the situation and finding a new environment. However, since this speech is a requirement in your class, you’ll need to rely on changing your attitude toward the circumstances by actively and consciously choosing a different thought.
Example: Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this, these people think I’m an idiot,” decide instead that, “Everyone totally understands how nerve-racking public speaking is, so we share a bond. This really isn’t a big deal.”
When you feel your heart start racing and the adrenaline coursing through your veins, force yourself to breathe slowly and deeply — in through the nose, out through pursed lips as if blowing out a candle — at least 10 times.
This breathing technique forces the heart rate to slow, which then allows you access to your rational mind that you initially bypass by the “fight or flight” response.
Importantly, remember this: you can’t just ignore your nervousness and put it out of your mind, as this will actually cause you to fixate on it and make it worse.
Watch what happens when I say, “Whatever you do, do NOT think about nude beaches!”
What are you thinking about now? Probably a guy with an uncanny resemblance to Sasquatch, splashing around in his birthday suit.
You have to actively choose a better thought and focus on it.
If we break it down to its core as a scientific process and realize our fear and nervousness are simply chemical reactions, those feelings become less mysterious and intimidating.
There are plenty of other ways to improve your public speaking prowess.
Most importantly, know your subject matter inside and out. Befriend your topic; really get to know it. The closer you two become, the more likely your topic will be to comfort, support and encourage you when you’re a friend in need — i.e., when you’ve forgotten what to say.
Also, obviously, but I’ll say it anyway, be likeable. If you really aren’t a friendly or approachable person by nature, fake it.
Smile at your audience and engage them by using eye contact. You’d be amazed at what you can get away with by wearing a big, genuine smile and adding in a small, believable amount of charm. But not too much — we aren’t selling used cars.
Realize that you might mess up or fumble some words. It happens to us all at some point.
The magic is in how you proceed after an embarrassing mishap. Don’t just stand there mumbling, “Um… uh…” Embrace it and use it as an opportunity to connect with your audience.
Laughing it off and saying something like, “Sorry folks, I’m not much of a public speaker, which is why I usually stick to [accounting, engineering, underwater basket weaving, etc.],” will instantly humanize you and might even get a few laughs.
Finally, practice. Practice doesn’t necessarily make you perfect, but it certainly enables you to be comfortable enough with the material to find your way back to your buddy, the topic, should you get lost along the way.
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Send Jess your questions on Twitter @advicefromjess or by e-mail to jess.king@okstate.edu.
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